Archive for February, 2010

Pizza Chicken



  • Boneless skinless chicken breasts
  • Sliced pepperoni
  • Your favorite spaghetti sauce
  • Rotini or Penne pasta
  • Mozzarella cheese
  • Garlic Powder
  • Crushed Red Pepper
  • Salt and Pepper

Thaw out some chicken breasts, 1 per person.  I recommend doing this in the fridge overnight.  Defrosting in the microwave cooks things a little, but still works.  Try to make sure the breasts are thawed completely also.  You’ll need to flatten them out and if they’re frozen they won’t work as well.

Lay out a strip of plastic wrap big enough for your chicken.  Place chicken down and cover with another piece of plastic wrap.  Hammer them out nice and flat (about 1/4″ to 1/8″ of an inch thick).  I use the bottom of a heavy glass or something similar.  (Note:  DO NOT use the SIDE of a glass or mug.  I once watched someone -who will remain nameless- break a glass that way.  Glass in your food is not a good thing.)

Once the chickens have been flattened out, cover one half of each with sliced pepperoni.  Sprinkle on your garlic powder, crushed red pepper, salt and pepper.

Now hit the dish with some shredded Mootzarella cheese.  You have to say it like that to get in touch with your eye-talian side.

Now fold the uncovered half over the fillings.  Use three or four toothpicks to hold everything in place.  (I suggest trying to use the same number of toothpicks and counting them as you put them in.  I have actually never been able to track this correctly, but it would be nice to know when you’re trying to eat)

Place the chickens in a deep baking pan.  Covering in foil first will help you out later.  Put a couple pads of butter on each chicken and put in a 375 degree oven for 40 minutes.

With about 15 minutes left, get your water boiling and boil your pasta for about 10 minutes.  Also get your pasta sauce heated up.

Melty cheesy goodness. "Butter makes it better"


Put pizza chickens on a bed of pasta.  Drown in sauce and kick it up a notch with some more shredded cheese.  Feast.


Make a Cheap Pet Sprayer

I have a dog. He stinks. My fiance used to feed him cheese while I dumped cups of water on him in the bathtub. This took forever and got us just as wet as the dog. I needed a better method.

They sell these sprayers starting at $30 and up.  I’ve got beer to buy… I don’t like spending that money on my furball.  I decided to make one.


  • Car washing soap sprayer
  • 1/2″ or 5/8″ hose (8-10 feet)
  • 1/2″ male threaded hose end
  • 1/2″ female threaded hose end
  • 2 hose clamps
  • Teflon tape(trust me)

Found this sprayer at a local Wal-Mart.  Retails for around $8.  It has a reservoir for your puppy-friendly soap and two levers: one for regulating water pressure(keep it low, you’re not trying to blast the hair off of Spunky) and a trigger one for shooting soap into the water stream.

Now head to your local hardware store.  Lowes or Home Depot will have everything you need for a decent price.  A standard shower head is 1/2″, but you may want to check before you go breaking the bank with $4 worth of materials.  Head to the shower and/or plumbing section and pick up a male and female hose end.  They should have the ribbed part that will fit inside the tube(don’t snicker).  Don’t forget 2 hose clamps to keep everything together.

Now find hose that fits snugly over the ends.  This will most likely be 1/2″ or 5/8″ hose.  Figure out how long you’ll need.  Always get more than you think you’ll need…its a lot easier to cut some off than head back to the store and buy more with that oh-so-condescending “I told you so” speech from your fiance on repeat in your head…you know, like when you were sure there was enough but there wasn’t but you’re definitely not going to admit it.  I always said the showerhead was too high!  Its probably not even up to code…its just…ok, I’m a little off topic here.

Remove the showerhead from the pipe.  You may need to use a wrench to do this if it’s been on a while.

Note: 2 tips.  1) If you use a wrench on stuff you can see in the bathroom, wrap it in an old shirt or something so you don’t scratch up your shit.  2) The white stuff on the end of pipes is teflon tape.  This helps fill the threads when you put something on and keeps it from leaking.  If yours is looking pretty ratty, take it off and wrap some new tape over the threads.  Always wrap in the direction you would turn the showerhead to screw it back on.  Remember, “Righty tighty, lefty loosey”.

Just screw the hose on like you would for washing the car.  Fill the reservoir with soap and screw the sprayer onto the hose.  You may want to thin out the soap a little and mix it with water in the sprayer.  Regular soap can be a little thick to try and spray out correctly.

For all the materials I spent somewhere around $15.  This is much less than the $30-$50 or more for one from a box.  Plus we had fun, didn’t we?  Now go wash your dog.  He smells like crap.